Tagless shirts

Tagless shirts? You know, the new shirts without that annoying neck tag. That tag that digs into the back of your neck first causing itching then burning until you go insane and practically rip the shirt in half trying to pull that freaking tag out?? I hate those dang neck tags. Now they have tagless shirts. Yay you'd think, no more annoying itching burning from those useless tags. You'd be wrong, so very wrong. Those so-called tagless shirts are a lie! They're not tagless at all. They've moved the tag to a new location and made it 1/4 the size it used to be. Now it's a stealth tag waiting for just the right moment to strike. A waist level tag is still a tag and it digs into your skin like a scalpel. The new tags are sharper and itchier, they go from itch to burn in seconds leaving a red rash in their wake. They're stubborn too. They don't pull out as easily as the neck tags. You can pull and tug and try to rip them off with your teeth but you'll leave a hole in your shirt. Go on, I'll wait while you try. See? A ripped shirt! AAARRRGGGHHHH!. Tagless my Aunt Fanny! Time to write some letters of complaint! They'll just send me coupons for more stealth tagged shirts, you watch. It's a conspiracy I tells ya!